To be honest, I kept forgetting, but when I remembered, it was a pretty useful mantra. As I said, it got me out of bed as soon as I woke up, no waiting for the alarm or the snooze. Just, “my life is a work of art, wake the fuck up.”

While Shelly was at a meeting with a lawyer in Nis, it helped me be a bit more adventurous, trespassing into places that looked cool. I’d feel a little fear, and think “Fuck it, my life is a work of art,” and in I went.

In short, it helped me objectify and aestheticize my life. Objectify in that it helped me peel back, abstract myself from my own life, make me an actor under my direction. And Aestheticize in terms of framing, and noticing. My field of vision became a movie screen; while I was showering I noticed just how bright orange the shampoo bottle was against the white tiles.

But, as I said, I kept forgetting, and even when I remembered I was only partly invested. Like when meditating, or distracting myself when necessary : part of me was lifting off but the rest was nattering on as usual, worrying, planning, etc. Frankly I didn’t have the guts or the focus to immerse myself 100%. Maybe with another person, or in someplace I am totally comfortable.

At times I felt sort of like that camaraderie you get when tripping with someone, I thought to myself “In an hour or so, Nathaniel will wake up and his life will be a work of art too.”

Well, a friend is coming over and we are going to go for a bike ride shortly. I can make my life a work of art and not tell him, and see what that changes. Though I’ve found it is harder to slip into now that it is not official…