first conversation

So, I was working in my shade-of-the-grape-vines “studio” ( a table, some clamps, and a very long extension cord) when my landlord noticed my cordless drill.

Landlord: “Where did you get that?”

       Me: “I brought it.”

Landlord: “Of all the things you could bring from America, you choose to bring this?! So silly!”

       Me: “Why? What would you bring?”

Landlord: “Something useful. Something you can only get in New York.”

       Me: “Like what?”

Landlord: “Like a miniature statue of liberty statue.”

second conversation

Shelly, Syu, Gordana and I are sitting around a table in the dark eating watermelon in Gordana’s village after an afternoon of swimming in her icy but lovely river. Gordana is humming Beethoven’s Fifth (Da da da DUM, Da da da DUM, Da da da DUM DUM DAH… etc), and I am thinking to myself “Huh. I wonder how she got that Western bit of culture?” or something similarly geocentric.

But then I realize, and find I have said aloud, “Well, geographically speaking, Serbia’s actually closer to Beethoven than we are.”

Gordana responds: “You? No, actually Lithuania and Russia are closer to Germany than Serbia.”

       Me: (confused. then:) “Oh. You mean my heritage!”

Gordana: “No, not your heritage! Your blood, man. Your fucking DNA!”